Absolutely Delusional
by asianchibi99
Summary: Rin has gotten herself sick at the start of winter break and Len had to use the opportunity to try out his flirting. The result? Rin sure knows how to get revenge. Len/Rin. Rated T for over use of sarcasm. *Author couldn't find better title for story either*


**Yeah… I had to do another one-shot. I was bored, and this idea was eating me alive, it just didn't want to be ignored. **

**Anyways, thanks for clicking on the link that brought you here, just doing something as simple as that makes my day so much better ****J As always, it's an honor for me to write more stories for you guys.**

**Enjoy~**

**Disclaimer- Nadda Vocaloid**

I could begin this like a whiny brat and say how much it sucks to be sick, or I could be a depressed emo person and say how lonely and miserable I felt, but I'm going straight to the point.

It's winter, my parents are out for a week, and I came down with the cold. Cheers.

Seriously, I just got on winter break three days ago, then I wake this morning with a sore throat and the sniffles.

"Oh life," I laughed scratchily at the air, "You must love me enough to get me sick on the week that my parents had to leave for their business trip."

My sarcasm runs high when I'm sick.

I coughed roughly into my blanket, hacking spit and practically my entire voice box with every heave. When I finished, I found my nose to be stuffy, again, and I reached over the table to get another tissue.

I swear, when I get over this, I'm got to rub my snot balls all over life's manager.

I shivered at the sudden draft that chilled my already shivering structure. I tightened my grip on my blanket, taking in a another drink of the tea. I set the cup back down on the coffee table, settling myself deeper into the blankets.

_Ring Ring_

I yelped in shock at the sudden shriek from my phone, I glared at the old thing, a bit pissed by it. Now I had to move from my little spot over to the other side of the couch to grab the thing. Well, I could ignore the call but I'd feel guilt if I did. I really hate my inner conscience sometimes.

I wiggled my right arm farther out of my warm little bundle, grumbling bitterly as the cold air practically threw needles at my exposed skin. I stretched out my fingers, still unable to reach the cell phone. I scowled, leaning slightly, yet the phone was still somehow away from my fingers.

I swear I saw that thing move away from me.

_Ring Ring_

"Well, why don't you grow legs and walk over here then!" I snapped at it, I pounded at the cushion next to it, causing the thing to bounce closer to me. Triumph flooded to me and I kept hitting the cushion, closer and closer until-

It fell to the floor.

"Son of a-!" Fed up, I fell the floor, wiggling in my little cacoon over to the phone. I snatched it in my hand and flipped up the cover, not bothering to look at the caller ID. "What!"

I violent coughed, my throat not happy about all the shouting. I struggled into a somewhat sitting position, my back leaning against the couch.

"_Ouch, you don't sound too well, Rinny," _Len's voice peeped from the receiver.

"I'm on my deathbed, come visit me, and bring some cough medicine while you're at it. Medicine that doesn't taste like cherries." I rasped. He chuckled.

"_So I guess you can't come chucking snowballs, huh?" _

"Not unless you want to kill your best friend" I scoffed.

"_Wow you sound bitter today." _Len laughed, enjoying this immensely. _"Oh that's right, your parents are out, huh?"_

"Yeah," I grumbled, situating myself better on the cold, hard ground.

"_Aw, poor Rinny-Rin-Rin." _He mocked, _"All alone in the house with the sniffles."_

"I change my mind, I'm going to give you my snot balls."

"_No thank you_._" _I could almost see him smirking with amusement. _"Anyways, isn't there anyone who has free time to visit you?"_

"Len, winter break just started, who would be at home?" I hacked my throat out in the blanket.

"_Hm… Let's see~ I'm going to check Facebook." _

I rolled my eyes, Len is seriously a girl when it comes to being social, then again, almost all of my friends are. I'm the only one without a twitterspace, or whatever that one site is. It's not like I'm not a social outcast or anything, I just don't think online accounts are needed.

Who's the one whose going to be famous when all of her friends get kidnapped? This girl.

"_Huh… Gumi is out with Miki and Piko… Kaito is watching Meiko… Hm…Well, Yuki is at home!"_

"Yuki has a Facebook! She's only nine!" My throat constricted at my sharp cry, I gagged painfully.

"_Oh wait, she's sick too, next!" _Len didn't even bother to notice my shock, or the fact I was practically suffocating on the other line. _"Hm… Luka is at work, Gakupo is too much of a creeper…Well! I'd say you were screwed!"_

"Thanks, means so much to me, Lenny." I wheezed, finally having my air hole opened. "Now, could you leave me in peace?"

"_Aw, but I'll feel bad for leaving you alone." _He teased.

"Then come over." I suggested, "I seriously need cough medicine."

"_Hm, if I have time today I might consider it." _He chuckled, _"I've got a full plate for my vacation, no time to squeeze in a visit."_

"You are the bestest friend ever, Len."

"_Aren't I though?" _He snickered, _"Well, I've got to go, bye Rinny!~ Get well soon!"_

"Verbal support helps just as much breathing on me." I turned the phone off, setting it next to me so that I wouldn't fall again the next time I went to pick it up.

I shifted on the floor, strangely more comfortable than I was on the couch. I tucked my head into the blanket, covering my ice cold ears so that only my mouth, nose and eyes were sticking out. Gosh, it's freezing today, I'm shaking like a leaf. My breath, however, was hot and boiled, turning to mist even in the house.

Did I mention how lonely and bored I felt?

I mean, I'm all _alone _inside while it's a winter wonderland outside. I mean, it hardly ever snows at all, and it's really beautiful outside. But it's like a fly light or whatever those things are called. Beautiful but deadly. I would say a rose, but you only bleed with thorns, flies sizzle and die when they touch the light. That's what would happen to me if I went outside.

'Help meee! I'm meltingg!'

Oh wait.

'Help meee! I'm getting frost bitee!'

Like that.

I reached up for my tea, taking a sip of the near-cold liquid. It did little to help my ailing throat, but it was something.

Putting the cup back on the table, I miserably curled myself up, and sighed. Nap time, again, for the fiftieth time that day, and that's actually not that big of an exaggeration.

I lay down, my head resting on the hardwood floor, yawning. Well, at least when I'm sleeping I don't feel like crap. I mean, it's horrible when I wake up, but sleeping is perfectly fine. Besides, it's not like there's anything else to do, other than play chess with myself. Ha, who am I kidding? I don't know how to play chess!

Oh my poor lonesome self, such a damsel in distress.

Haha, self pity is funny.

_Tap, tap, tap_

It came from behind me, outside the window, but I was honestly too sluggish to move right now.

_Tap, tap, tap_

Probably some kid who thinks it's funny tapping on the windows of the sick

More self pity, hilarious.

_Tap, tap, tap_

Persistent little brat, but he'll leave.

_Tap , tap, tap_

Eventually.

_Tap, tap, tap_

Sure, tap away on my last nerve, go ahead. I craned my head backwards, sending the dirtiest look I could muster at the idiot who decided to mess with a half-dead girl's window. If my head starts to ache and I get a migraine, it's going to be all-

Len's fault?

He laughed at my expression behind the glass, and I cleared up my face quickly. What in the world was he doing here? No, _why _in the world is he here? Whatever happened to his 'full winter plate'? He pointed to the door, holding his hands together, mouthing 'please' to me. I scowled. If he thinks he can tease with me on the phone, give me a headache, and _still _come into my house, then he must be crazy.

Ah, yeah, I really hate my inner conscience.

Grudgingly, I untangled myself from my warm little nest on the floor. The cold air nearly devouring me as soon as I stood up. I hauling some of the fallen blankets around my shoulders, I wobbled unsteadily to the door, unlocking the latches.

"Hey~ Rinny~" Len beamed as I opened the door, "Guess what? My schedule says I have time for you!"

If I had enough energy I would screamed and slammed the door in his face.

"Look, either you get in or get out." I told him dully, he pouted at my lack of aggressiveness and slipped inside my house. I closed the door, locking it again.

"Wow it feels melancholic in here." He whistled, "Are you feeling blue because your parents are gone or are you just normally sad and depressing?"

"Len, this is my house, and I've got a wad of tissues over there, are you really in the state to be taunting me?" I glared at him pointedly at he rethought his position.

"Good point." Len sat down on my couch, patting the cushion next to him. "Come here Rin! You look like you're going to pass out right there!"

"Oh, you look so happy right now." I grumbled, making my way to the couch as well. I positioned myself sideways so that my feet were on his lap. "So what else are you doing today?"

"Hm, well actually I was going to a huge snowball fight in the park, but for you, I'll skip it." He winked at me, making me roll my eyes.

"Oh Len, I'm so touched." I leaned over the coffee table for a new tissue, I blew my nose fiercely on it. I wrinkled my nose at the sound, "Wow, that one was gross."

"How ladylike." He smirked, I gave him the same face.

"What other word is there to describe me as?"

"Troll face."

"Oh haha, clever." I tossed the napkin onto the table, looking into my tea cup sadly, and with maybe a little deliberately. "Aw, my tea ran out and I forgot to boil more water."

"…" Len looked at me in confusion, then he sighed in exasperation. "That was my cue to be the gentleman and offer to help you, huh?"

"Bingo." I snickered and started to get up. "Ah never mind, men are so useless when it comes to the kitchen."

"No, no." Len lightly pushed me down, causing my already fragile body to crash down on the couch. "I'll do it, I'm the guest after all."

"Alright then," I leaned back, "Go ahead, I'm not stopping you."

"You were supposed be the gracious host and say that the guest isn't supposed to do anything." He mumbled, I snorted lightly.

"Why? You were the one who rudely interrupted my peace and quiet." I kicked up my feet on the couch again. "Now hurry back with my tea, my throat is killing me."

Len left for the kitchen, and I sighed. This boy honestly has some major issues. If he weren't my best friend he would've been on my 'avoid at all cost' list. Then again, he isn't all _that _bad, I mean he does have his generous side, if you can get past his cockiness and arrogance.

"Haha! Not even a single spill!"

Did I mention childish? How could I forget?

"Len, please don't break anything." I called, sniffing once again. "Here's a simple guideline for you: You break, you buy."

"Got it!"

I lay my head back, closing my eyes tiredly. Sleep, must nap, must get out from living for an hour…

"Hey, if you're going to sleep, why are you making me make your tea? Won't it just get cold?"

Why must he ruin my near nap twice in a row?

I peeked an eye at him, glaring him down half heartily.

"Because when I wake up, my throat is going to feel as thick as your head. "

"_Ouch_, you're extra mean today."

"Sorry." I sighed sincerely, for once. I closed my eye again "Not feeling so great today."

"Don't worry, Rinny, I'm not mad at you." He leaned down to pat my head, "I could never be mad at you, best friend~"

"How sweet." I mumbled.

"Really?"

"Ah nope. I'm being sarcastic again." I cracked a grin, looking at him teasingly. Len laughed, straightening his back.

"Shame, and I thought I finally had you falling for me." He placed his hands on his hips and laughed flamboyantly.

"Once again, I've got snot rags against you." I reached up and slapped him lightly.

"D'aww, you're just so adorable when you threaten me." He slapped away my hand, making a little face at me.

"Masochist." I crossed my legs, burying the back of my head deeper into my mass of blankets.

"Only for you." He winked, I huffed a small laughter.

"So that means if I bash in your head you'll still be begging for more? Works for me."

"Didn't you say I had a thick head?" Len propped an elbow on the couch, "Now how are you going to bash in that?"

"Touché." I giggled, now I remember why he's my best friend. He can take even the harshest of my jokes.

"Good, I made your first giggle of the day." Len beamed with accomplishment, I smiled at his antics.

"Hm, you're right. Maybe you are good for the heart." I said thoughtfully.

"Oh I don't know," He leaned closer to me, his face suddenly very much bigger. "I'm known to make girls' blood pressure spike."

"Are you trying to flirt with me?" I stared at his azure eyes, dumbfounded.

"I believe so."

"Well then, that's _one _way to start a conversation." I smirked, he looked taken aback.

"Dude, I thought you've never been flirted with, how are you so calm about this?" He asked incredulously, I coughed into my elbow roughly, but my knowing smile shown.

"Please," I cleared my throat, "I know you too well, Len. You don't flirt, you confess and confess and confess until the girl gets fed up with you and says yes."

"Oh, you really are a true friend." He pinched my cheek like my aunt, I glared at him.

"Let my cheeks go before I cough in your face."

He released me and I went into another hysteric coughing into a blanket, heaving for breath afterwards.

"Your sickness really knows how to fight." He winced at my painful sounding hacks. I waved him off.

"It's fine, just a cold." I rasped dryly.

"Then I really don't want to hear your flu." Len remarked, then looked over me. "Are you really warm like that?"

"I have a few blankets on the floor." I pointed to the discarded wraps I left when I went to open the door for Len. "I'm fine."

"You have a few blankets, but you're not using them." He tsked in disappointment, "Now tell me, Rin, what good will that do?"

Motherly Len is funny.

I didn't complain as he lifted those blankets and spread them all over my body. I felt warmth spread though me again, noticing that my inner shivering had stopped.

"Thanks," I muttered, "feel better."

"No problem," He ruffled my hair lightly, "today I'll put in my effort so that tomorrow we can go to another snowball fight together."

"Aw, you really are sweet." I yawned.

"Sarcasm?"

"Not entirely this time." I promised, "Who knows, with a bit of luck, you might even get a decent girlfriend."

"Oh, so now you're insulting my future girlfriends?" He crossed his arms, leaning back to give me a look, I grinned.

"No, I'm pitying them."

"You know, Rin, you just might become one of them." Len puckered his lips at me, "what do you think?"

"I think I'd have to be delusional to agree to that." I retorted, I was about to add something else but sneezed instead. Ah, he was saved by sinuses, lucky boy.

"Are you still cold?" He asked, "I covered you so nicely too!"

"They don't call this sickness a cold for just laughs, you know." I sneezed again, an involuntary shiver creeping up my back.

_Phweeeee!_

The kettle on the stove screeched it's limit and Len bounced to it.

"It's finally done!" He whooped, I rolled my eyes.

"Don't burn yourself, and remember your guidelines!" I buried myself deeper into my blankets.

"I know, I know." he called back. I waited in dull agony as he prepared my drink. When he came back, he had a tray with a teapot and two cups.

"Where'd you find that?" I asked, looking at the tray in bewilderment.

"In the cupboards." He replied with a shrug. He poured the tea into the two cup then cleared his throat, his voice coming out in a pompous manner. "Madam, would you care to join me for tea?"

"Love too, just don't go mixing up my cup with yours." I took one by the handle and blew at the top, the hot mist swaying and reacting to the sudden force.

"I'd usually try to go in for an indirect kiss, but I think I'll pass this time." He took the other cup, sipping from it gingerly. I drank it, feeling the burning liquid soothe my throat.

"Ah… that's good…" I hummed, then his words hit me. "Wait, what do you mean, 'this time'?"

"What? I can't play around with you too?" Len asked, drinking some more.

"No, I'm the one who's sick." I laughed.

"Well then act like it." He set down his cup, looking at me. "Speaking of which, are you still cold?"

"Little, but I'm not dying of Pneumonia." I put down my cup as well, my throat feeling less clogged.

"Fantastic, now I can rest assured." He sighed as if a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. "Thank the high heavens my dear friend is safe."

I stared at him weird.

"Sorry, was that too much?" Len grinned sheepishly.

"Just a bit," I pinched my thumb and forefinger together. He scratched his head.

"Oops." Len sat down on the end of the couch, lifting my feet and setting it on his lap again. "So what are you going to do when your cold is gone?"

"Huh." I looked at the popcorn ceiling. "I don't know. Christmas shopping, ice skate, make snowmen, cut off that ponytail of yours… The possibilities are endless."

"Hey! What's wrong with my ponytail?" Len pouted, touching his hair defensively, "it's cute and you know you love it."

"Cute I will agree with, but loving it?" I chuckled, "that's pushing it, Lenny."

"Well, you still like it though." He pointed out, I shrugged.

"Meh. I want to see you without it for a change,"

"You know, if you want to see me with my hair down so badly, you could just ask." He laughed, I felt myself blink with surprise.

"Wow, I feel stupid for not thinking about that." I sniffed to myself. "Well then, Lenny dear, out with the hair tie?"

"Aw, that's no fun," Len chuckled, he tilted his head towards me. "I thought you would pounce on my head and rip the band out."

"Come on, a girl can't be that violent." I pshed.

"Oh, so you're suddenly not a girl?"

"So funny," I glared.

"I know." Len grinned boyishly at me. You see, this is what I hate about Len: his smiles are contagious. I eased up my face, smiling back almost against my will.

"A-anyways." I shook my head, "Come on, let me see your hair!"

"Alright, alright." He brought up his right hand behind his head, closing one eye with concentration as he loosened the knot. "Surprise,"

His golden hair flowed, and I mean like a tropical waterfall, downwards, stopping abruptly at his shoulders. It was almost as if he turned into a complete other person, it was weird what a simple ponytail did.

"You.. It's like looking into a mirror." I mused, but my shock was making my voice go soft.

"Please, you don't look _that _much like a boy, Rin."

If I had anything in my hand other than my blanket, I would've thrown it at his head without a second thought.

"Seriously, I think you would look nice if you cut your hair." For now, I've decided to ignore his comments. Until I gain full recovery, that is.

"Hm, maybe." He touched one of his long locks. "But then again, if I didn't look like you, how am I going to honestly practice my confessions in front of the mirror?"

"Was that another pick-up line?"

"Yep, I think I liked that one better than the blood pressure one." He nodded thoughtfully.

"You do realize it won't work for any other girl though, right?" I snickered, but he didn't falter, to my surprise.

"Well, seeing that all my pick-up lines are for you, does any other girl matter?"

"Oh, I liked that one." I approved, pretending not to notice the oh-so subtle message he was giving me.

"Thank you," Len beamed proudly, tying up his hair once again. Just as I was ready to make another sharp reply, I was interrupted by a swift cough. My throat was flaring again, worse than before, I winced, gagging. I reached for my tea cup, coughing loudly. I downed the cup, and the pain was gone, but only for two seconds.

"Medicine." I managed to choke out, my breathing suddenly getting shallow. It was as if the walls of my throat had thickened and were pressed against needles.

I didn't even notice Len who shot from the couch to the kitchen in all my dramatic pain. I held my throat, feeling each cough send vibrations through my arms.

"Rin, sit down and relax." He was right next to me, his teasing tone gone from his voice. I loosened my body a bit, and he poured red cherry syrup into a spoon.

"I am sitting down, stupid." I hacked.

Yuck, I hate cherry flavored medicine.

Resisting the urge to spit, I swallowed the awful amount, pouring myself more tea and downing it whole. See, the thing about medicine is, they don't act immediately, so I was still suffering for a good five minutes.

With Len supporting me of course. Yes, how I could forget the way Len was supporting my shoulders while I hacked and heaved.

"Like I said, that cold knows how to punch hard." He grimaced at my now shivering form after that ordeal was done. My throat was feeling a little too raw for me to be talking so I remained silent. Len helped me sit up and drink more tea until the taste of cherry was gone from my mouth and lips. I hate how you always wash the taste of medicine from your mouth, but when you lick your lips it's like reliving a painful memory.

"Thank you, Len." I muttered, curling under the blankets.

"That's what boyfriends are for."

"Don't take advantage of me right now or I'll get you later," I warned weakly. He chuckled in amusement.

"I can't help it if I'm so close to a pretty girl."

"Why do you choose today of all days to get in a flirting mood?" I moaned, he laughed.

"Because today's the only day you can't hit me hard enough."

"I'll make sure to hit you extra hard later for that." I grumbled, Len pouted at me again.

"You are such a meanie butt!" He whined, I smiled at my accomplishment.

"And you complain more Miku,"

I was getting drowsy, the medicine must've done that to me. Oh well, now I won't have to force myself to sleep.

"Hey, don't pass out." Len muttered. I yawned.

"Idiot, I'm getting tired, let me sleep in peace."

"Cool, do you want your head on my shoulder? It's very comfy." He patted his arm, but I smiled.

"No thanks, plushy, this couch with do fine." I relaxed my body. He hoisted me up anyways, I was too lazy to cry out or do anything really to protest.

"I always wanted to be that romantic guy who gets the girl to sleep on him while she's sick." He explained, "In the end, they confess softly to each other before sleeping peacefully side by side."

"You are such a girl." I groaned tiredly.

"Oh, then would you like to be the guy?" Len asked, I hit him lightly.

"How do I get you to shut up?" I begged, he tsked thoughtfully.

"How about… A kiss?" He teased, I felt annoyance prickle my insides. Sleep in this state? Out of question. "A loving kiss on the mouth that signifies the love of one to another."

"Or I can hit you in the back of the head with a hammer." I suggested.

"How are you going to move at all in the state your in?" He asked smugly.

"Keep provoking me and then we'll find out."

I honestly didn't know how I was going to move either.

"You're getting sleepier and sleepier…"

"Len, shut up."

"When I clap my hands, you fall asleep." He continued in a deep voice, "and when you wake up, you will be madly in love with Len Kagamine…"

"Oh lord."

_Clap._

Oh sweet, he finally went silent. I relaxed, not caring about the fact I was still on his shoulder or the fact he was probably trying to hypnotize me, my mind was going blissfully blank. Sleep, finally time for my long, _long _awaited rest. I could practically feel myself slipping too, it was really, really-

"…Are you awake yet?"

That. Did. It.

I pushed myself up groggily, focusing my eyes on him. Len blinked in surprise, but I didn't give him a second to say another word when I leaned myself forwards quickly. He let out a muffled cry, but it quickly vanished as he registered what was going on.

I am not one to prolong the point.

I was kissing Len.

At first, he was hesitant, then he began to respond. His lips molding gently with mine, his eyelashes fluttering closed against my own already shut eyes. Before we could do anything more, I released myself, falling backwards so that I was back to my original position, my head on the couch.

"Wh-wh-what…" Len was so flustered, I had to open my eyes to look at him. His face was dark with blush and his body stiff with shock. "R-Rin, did you.,. I… we… it…"

"Well you know, Len." I drawled lazily, "the fastest way to recover from a sickness is to transfer it to someone else."

"Huh…wait… what does that… you don't… or do you…" Whatever he wanted to say seemed to be caught in his throat, I giggled at this new side of Len. It was different, and funny. He blinked at my laughter, blushing even darker. "R-really Rin, y-your crazy, absolutely delusional!"

I laughed softly at the irony in the situation right now. Delusional, eh? Is that the same word I used earlier today? Now what did I use that for? I grinned.

"I know."

**Another cruddy ending! Hurrah!**

**This is another one-shot to beg for forgiveness for those waiting for my current on-going stories. I'm working so hard on them so bear with me for just a little longer.**

**Anyways, what do you think of this one? Originally, it was going to be a kind of sadder toned story, but I was having way too much fun with the sarcasm from Rin that it turned pretty humorous x3 Rin is absolutely delusional! **

**I know Len has a sort of consistent personality, but I really don't know how to describe it. Arrogant? Flirty? Sarcastic too? I have no idea, but he was also fun to write :D**

**Orz. It's past midnight, I'm seriously having trouble keeping my eyes open right now. So before I fall asleep on my computer again, I'm a sign off. **

**Mush Luvve**

**~asianchibi**


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